LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Long Distance Relationship aren’t always ideal. In fact, they’re really tough. You spend countless of hours just talking through a phone or through a screen. You can’t see the person when you want to or when you most need them.. You can’t hug, you can’t hold hands, you can’t kiss. You lose the intimacy in a physical sense. But then, Your relationship becomes based on each other and nothing else.

You learn to communicate, because a long-distance relationship without communication is nothing.

You learn to trust, because you can’t always see or know everything the person is doing.

You learn to sacrifice, because someone’s always going to lose a bit of sleep from the time difference.

And lastly, you learn to appreciate.

So often, we take for granted the people and relationships in our lives because we think they’ll always be there. But When you only have a limited amount of time with a person, you learn to appreciate and cherish every single moment you have with them.

When you finally see that person after weeks or months of seeing them only through a computer screen, It is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

When you’ve waited for something so long and you finally have it, you cherish it. The key to a long-distance relationship is faith.

If both of you are not willing to give up, If both of you are willing to stand up and still try after every time one of you or both of you fall.

“Distance isn’t for the fearful, it’s for the bold ".

It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for the little time with the one they love.

It’s for knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”


-Author Unknown-

FUNNY ANSWERS BY KIDS

Teacher: Last night I had a dream that I ate a huge marshmallow.
Student: And what happened next?
Teacher: I woke up in the morning and found my pillow gone!!!

A girl came home from school. Her mother asked, “Dear how was your first day at school?”
And the girl replied, “First day? You mean I have to go back there tomorrow?”

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!

Q: What must you do before you get board a bus?
A: Get on it!

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: The word smiles because there is a mile between each s.

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white?
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!!

Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road?
A: To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q: What did the pig say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
A: That’s the end of me…

Q. What happens when you throw a black cat in the red sea?
A. It gets wet.

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because it was not peeling well!

Q. Why do fish swim in salt water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. You’re too young to smoke

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: Because nobody else will do it for them.

Q. Why did the cat cross the road?
A. To get away from the dog!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. To chase the cat on the other side!!!

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud

Q: What do you get when you throw all the books in the world in the ocean?
A: A title wave

Q: Why don’t vampires like mosquitoes?
A: Too much competition!

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says “Spit out your gum” and the train says “Choo! Choo!”

THE MIRACLE OF $1.11 - TRUE STORY

Tess was a precocious eight year old when she heard her Mom and Dad talking about her little brother, Andrew. All she knew was that he was very sick and they were completely out of money. They were moving to an apartment complex next month because Daddy didn’t have the money for the doctor bills and our house. Only a very costly surgery could save him now and it was looking like there was no-one to loan them the money. She heard Daddy say to her tearful Mother with whispered desperation, “Only a miracle can save him now.”

Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall’s Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good.

Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

“And what do you want?” the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. “I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in ages,” he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

“Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,” Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. “He’s really, really sick… and I want to buy a miracle.”

“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.

“His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?”

“We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” the pharmacist said, softening a little. “Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.”

The pharmacist’s brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does your brother need?”

“I don’t know,” Tess replied with her eyes welling up. “I just know he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.”

“How much do you have?” asked the man from Chicago. “One dollar and eleven cents,” Tess answered barely audibly. “And it’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.

“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and eleven cents – the exact price of a miracle for little brothers.” He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said, “Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the kind of miracle you need.”

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specialising in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

“That surgery,” her Mom whispered. “was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?”
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost… one dollar and eleven cents … plus the faith of a little child.

-Author Unknown-

DIVORCE LETTER

 

 Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. 

-Author Unknown-

PERFECT HUSBAND

 

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to
talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I
saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000." ;

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and
found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're
asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably
take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you
really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in
astonishment, mouths wide open.

 
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"

-Author Unknown-